Things men want most in a wife
By: Chelsea Damon
What men want most in a wife
So I know the title of this post says, “5 things men want most in a wife,” but to be more realistic, this is about what men need most in a wife. Like men, there are a lot of things that we (women) would really like in a husband. Like, it’d be a huge plus if he looked like Chris Hemsworth. But that’s not really what we need in order to have a positive relationship with our spouse. If we married him, we probably think he’s pretty cute, anyway. Take a look at these 5 things a man really needs in a wife, and if you can think of anything else, share your thoughts in the comments below!
A best friend forever
You know, someone who they can itch their butt next to and, though you may judge them a little, you mostly still love them. But seriously though, your husband didn’t marry you to get a new mom (even though you may feel like it some days) and he didn’t marry you just to have someone help with the rent. He married you because he likes you, a lot. Even though, take it from me, marriage isn’t always cake and giggles, it’s nice to live with someone who understands you, knows you, and still likes to be around you. Every Jim needs a Pam. Someone who they can just look at and have her know exactly what is going through his mind.
I miss my husband when he’s not home. When it’s 5 minutes until the end of his shift, I usually text him something like, “COME HOME COME HOME COME HOME COME HOME.” And that’s not because I’m needy. It’s because I like my husband and I have to spend most of the day away from my favorite person, so I get excited when I know he’s coming home soon.
Sometimes when life gets the best of us, we can easily forget to show our husbands that we still like them. It can be easy to forget to live in the moment, laugh, and chill out when our lives are busy or stressful. Try to remind yourself to be there in the moment with your husband and to not take like too seriously.
A guy needs someone around to remind him he’s still awesome, especially when his boss, coworkers, and maybe even his friends, say otherwise. That’s not to say that you should tell your husband he’s awesome even after he messes up big time (because that might happen) but everyone needs someone whose opinion about them won’t change even though they had a bad day. We all need someone in our lives to give us the benefit of the doubt, especially during our bad days or when and when we make mistakes. It’s the worst feeling to make a mistake and feel like everyone’s opinion of you is damaged. That’s what bff wives are for: to say, “Yeah, today wasn’t your best day. But I know you and I know you’re still great” Letting your hubby know that you still see the good in him, even on his bad days, will only make him want to show you the good in him more. If that makes sense.
A referee: “FOUL!” (Aka, someone who will call him out)
What this DOESN’T mean:
Constantly nagging and telling your hubs that he’s not good enough and needs to be better. It does not mean constantly questioning and insisting on your ideas over his. AND it does not mean holding his past mistakes against him.
What this DOES mean:
Sometimes, when your husband is having an off day and he hasn’t realized it yet, let him know, and let him know that you know he can do better. One of the things I love about my husband is that he is a very good judge of character and he always sees past facades. That being said, sometimes his need to speak truth can get him in trouble. Which is where I come in! There have been many times when I’ve had to remind him that just because something is true, doesn’t mean it needs to be said. There will be times when your husband will need you to say, “Hey, that’s not ok and I expect better from you.” Having expectations for your man is a great thing, and consistently holding them accountable is also good. Just make sure you’re on the same page with those expectations. You’ll run into a lot of arguments if your expectations for your spouse are different than the ones he has for himself.
If your husband has an idea that you see going terribly wrong down the road, speak up!
I’m all for respecting your hubs and even letting him lead… BUT you have brains in the head of yours and life experiences that he might not have. Both you and your husband have strengths and weaknesses. One of my strengths is being able to manage our finances. One of my husband’s is assuming that everything is always going to just work out when it comes to money. We need each other. I need him to help me not freak out over money, and he needs me to tell him when we really need to not touch our debit cards for a while.
My guess is, you have good ideas and life experiences too helpful to keep to yourself. Your husband didn’t marry a sheep that would follow him blindly off a cliff. He married a smart, useful individual! Cooperatively use your creativity and life experience to help guide each other to make good decisions and steer clear of bad ones.
You know how women need to feel pursued? Yeah, well men need that too. A lot more than you may think, actually. I believe that women enjoy sex, just like men. But often times, women have said that while they enjoy sex, they feel as though they could “take it or leave it” most days, and therefore don’t initiate it nearly as much as their husbands would. My husband and I have a great relationship to where we can talk openly about our expectations and how each other’s actions make us feel. He has told me that it’s very important to him that I initiate every so often. It makes him feel desired and more excited about being intimate together when he knows that it was my idea and that I’m excited about it too.
Face it, it’s hard to really be “intimate” with a lump on the bed. Whether you have to mentally schedule sexy nights, or buy a few more pretty pieces from the lingerie section, try this week to take a couple of steps towards initiating sex more with your spouse.
About Chelsea Damon
I’m the wife to a super handsome guy named Josh and together we made a super handsome baby named David. I work part time for my church and spend the rest of the day trying to keep up with life and my little busy-bodied boy. We sure don’t have it all together but when something goes well, I share it! I want to help busy moms stay afloat in a busy, crowded, un-family-oriented world.