How to Survive Your Broken Heart
By: Deb Wolf
Who didn’t love you?
Ten years ago yesterday my heart crumbled. Love refused. Relationship rejected.
Maybe your heart was broken by your crush in school. Maybe your parent. Your friend. Your spouse. Your child. It’s impossible to get through life without a broken heart. Unfortunately we can’t make everyone love us. There will be someone or someones who won’t return our love. People who break our hearts.
I’ve learned from experience and from watching others . . . the greater the love or closer the relationship = the intensity of the pain.
What are you supposed to do? How will you survive? You don’t even want to get out of bed.
You’re beyond hurt and truthfully you’re angry too.
Friends suggest ways you should fight back or get even, and although that sounds good for the moment you know that won’t really make you feel better going forward.
But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Luke 6:27
And you really don’t want to do that. Love. Do good. Are you kidding? No way.
Okay, we’ll get there, but for today let’s just work on surviving…
How to Survive Your Broken Heart
- Pray for strength, peace, and the ability to forgive. Letting go of painful emotions is almost impossible if you don’t replace them with God’s good gifts.
O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help. Psalm 86:5
- Cling to God’s promises. Unlike imperfect people, God will never reject or betray you. His love for us proven in and through Jesus is perfect and lasting. Not because of who you are or what you do, but because of who He is and what Jesus has done.
Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Psalm 36:5
Praise the Lord, all you nations. Praise him, all you people of the earth. For his unfailing love for us is powerful; the Lord’s faithfulness endures forever.Praise the Lord! Psalm 117:1–2
- Give yourself time to heal. Healing doesn’t happen over night. Set grieving appointments, 15-30 minutes each day, to feel and express your honest emotions. Journal. Cry out to God. He understands. When your thoughts upset you throughout the day, remind yourself you have a scheduled appointment to deal with them. Then listen to music. Call a friend to talk about something else. Whatever you need to change your thoughts.
“Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.” ~Author Unknown
- Stop replaying the rejection and choose good memories.Repeatedly reliving the pain will ultimately rob you of peace, contentment, and joy. Be thankful for good times, focus on pleasant memories, and let the rest go. (This is hard, but you get to choose what you continue to think.)
“Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.” ~Corrie Ten Boom
- Do things that make you happy. Moments of happiness do not deny what happened or the love you felt. It’s easy to believe that feeling happy denies the pain, the grief. It doesn’t. Allow yourself to do things you enjoy and embrace moments of happiness.
“Today I choose to let go of pain, hurt, resentment, sadness, guilt, and negativity that I’ve been holding onto and allowing to control my life. Today I choose happiness and above all love.” ~Author Unknown
- Surround yourself with people you love and who love you. Don’t let your broken heart define you. Embrace the people who are there, who love you. Pour yourself into what is and expect the blessings of the future.
We love each other because He loved us first. 1 John 4:19
Repeat numbers two through six as often and as long as necessary, and number one most often. Turn your heart toward God and trust Him to heal your broken heart.
The Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17
I am a wife, mom, gram, daughter, friend, teacher, and blogger; I am a fan of babies, puppies, coffee, and chocolate in that order; and I love good conversations especially ones filled with laughter.
My story is about a gracious God who held me when my world fell apart. About a Savior who gently and lovingly rescued me when I needed Him most.