Misconceptions People Have About Marriage
By: Joe Micheals
Marriage Will Solve My Loneliness
Every human feels lonely at some point in life. It doesn’t matter whether you are married or not. Marriage is not something that wipes away your loneliness. Know that you cannot fill the vacuum with relationships, work, family or friends. It is meant for your creator. When you can understand that and feel secure when you are single, you will be secure even when you are married.
My Spouse Will Do Everything
Marriage isn’t a bed of roses that you always feel comfortable doing only what you love. It comes with an enormous list of responsibilities and roles. And, for sure, they cannot be done alone. You need to share your responsibilities with your spouse, rather than dump everything on them. Marriage is beautiful when there is understanding.
Marriage Is Full-Time Romance
As a woman, you have been dreaming of your prince charming and “married-happily-ever-after” life. Let’s get back to the real world ladies. Your man will be your prince charming, but remember he will have flaws. Most of the time, he might not be able to show his love the way you want him to. That doesn’t mean he hates you. He has got other responsibilities that need to be taken care of too. Demanding his attention all the time would be too much on him. There will be times of romance, but not always.
And, as a man, you might want always to get your physical need met. Yes, she is yours, and you are hers. Be gentle with her. Don’t force it on her because when she gives in to your desires, there won’t be anything to cherish. There are others ways to keep your love soaring for each other. Learn to show love in creative ways.
Body Image Is Not a Problem
Many singles feel until you wear that wedding gown or suit, you have to stay fit and be in shape. After that, you don’t have to care about your body or its shape because you have found your true love. Though you will find many couples putting on weight after getting married, there is no rule that because you have found your love, you don’t have to bother about your body. Your body is your responsibility. It is up to you to be fit, healthy, and active mentally, physically, and spiritually. Only when you are healthy, you can take care of your family’s health too.
He/She Will Change
If you are engaged to someone who has some annoying habit, you might be very sure that they will change after getting married, or you will change them. Ok, just stop imagining that. It doesn’t work. Marry that person if you can accept him/her as they are. Trying to change or expecting them to change something that they have been doing all their lives would be impossible. Marriage is not about changing another person to someone like you. Accept the differences, and then go ahead with wedding plans. If not, quit before it is too late.
“I Will Change After Getting Married”
Maybe you are addicted to pornography or maturation, and you think marriage will help you stop because you will have a partner for real. Both are not healthy, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Everyone might say that these habits will help you practice for that special night, but it isn’t true. They will affect your sexual relationship with your partner. And your marriage will not help you to overcome them. Get help from your mentor or counselor so that you don’t have to carry it to your marriage. These habits will only tear you apart, leaving you miserable.
Marriage Will Help Me Become a Responsible Person
It is true that marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities, but does it really make someone responsible? If you are having issues handling finance and ending up in loans, it is high time you reached out for help. You cannot learn how to manage finances overnight when you get married. If you are someone who keeps making excuses, blaming, complaining, etc., marriage will be difficult. The person you’re going to spend your life with is entirely different from you, and you need to adjust, compromise, sacrifice, etc. Learn these things before you say “I do.”
I Can Do “This” and “That”
When you are single, you are free to do all that you are passionate about. It doesn’t mean that you cannot pursue your dreams after getting married. However, marriage demands all your time. You and your spouse would have a common vision to pursue. Sometimes, you just might not find the time to do what you always wanted. Do it now. Why wait till you are married?
Marriage Is Boring
It is said that a man who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. It might seem ironic, but it is true. To be married is a blessing. This doesn’t mean you rush into it. Find the person who will be right for you. Then get married when you are willing to commit yourself to that one person without swaying. Marriage is the phase when you get to learn patience, kindness, unconditional love, etc. It is a beautiful phase of life that is ordained for every man and woman unless they are called to be single.
Divorce Is an Easy Way Out
Divorce should never be an option or a last resort when you are committing your life to someone. Every marriage comes with its package of storms, pain, struggles, etc. It might look like there are more bad situations than good. But, all marriages go through these phases. You just need to stick to those powerful words you said on your wedding day:
“… to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part …”
Make these words real by sticking to your partner during the times of both the good and the bad. Don’t get married if you are not planning to stick to one person all your life. If you do, the vows become meaningless.