Changes that Occur After Marriage
By: Joe Micheals
Though everyone experiences different things in their marriage, there are some common changes that everyone undergoes. Make a note and see how you can be prepared for those changes. Remember that marriage is a bonding of two people, cultures, backgrounds, societies, families, etc. It requires love, trust, care, and respect to make it stronger.
Many people look at marriage as a prison, where each one is not able to do anything on their own. However, marriage is that place where you get to exercise your love and commitment every single day. It is a package of both good and bad and brings a lot of change in both the man and the woman. Let’s look at 10 of those visible changes.
When you are single, you tend to make decisions based your choices, judgment, view. If you need help, you go to your family and friends. However, when you get married, the process changes. From “I”, it changes to “we.” You have to make decisions together with your spouse. The relationship gets stronger when the couples learn to make wise decisions together. When you don’t get a solution for something or not able to arrive at some conclusion, the husband will take the final decision. And that decision should not be the best only for one but for both of you.
When you are single, you like to do things your way. The room is kept how you want it to be. You wake up anytime and come back home anytime. You live according to your rules. After getting married, you can’t live like you lived your singlehood. You will be staying with your spouse, and there will be household etiquette to follow. It not about you alone; it is about both of you. There are sacrifices and compromises that take place to keep your relationship going. Some of your little desires and interests will take the back seat because you have your spouse and children to take care of.
When you are married, your priorities change. Instead of hanging out with friends, watching TV shows, and spending your holidays without any plans, you will be thinking about your family and their needs. Bills, kids, household chores, etc. will become your priority. Instead of satisfying the needs of self, you will be seeking to make your spouse and children feel comfortable and loved.
Though it is true that marriage doesn’t take away your loneliness, there is a sense of security. You have someone to talk to, lean on, look up to, care for, provide for, etc. You know that when you get home, you have someone waiting for you, which in itself is beautiful. Adjusting and adapting to the other person’s habits and behavior might be difficult or even intolerable, but as time flies, you will get used to them. In fact, you would realize that it was those differences that have made you a lovely couple.
Communication matters in any relationship, especially marriage. The sooner you learn to commune with your spouse, the better it is for your relationship. There are ways to communicate too. You cannot be always rude and contradicting. You need to show love in your words. There should be warmth and comfort so that your spouse is not hurt. When the communication tone becomes negative, harsh, angry, or always contradictory, you can be sure that your spouse build a wall of safety. It requires respecting the feelings and emotions of your spouse. When you start developing your communication skills, you will be not only bonding well but also incurring the attributes like patience, tolerance, endurance, forgiveness, faithfulness, etc.
6 Dreams and Desires
Everyone has personal goals, desires, and dreams whether it is before or after marriage. For some people, these desires or goals cannot be pursued after getting married because the vision of the family or the husband takes priority. And women have to encourage and support their husbands in every way. Though they can still pursue their dreams, some men do not support them. On the other hand, there are others who can aspire and pursue their desires and fulfill them even after marriage. Here, the primary thing is that both need to encourage each other. When one accomplishes, it is the victory of two. Even if you cannot aspire to fulfill your dreams, make your spouse’s dream yours, and support him and find satisfaction. There is so much joy when you achieve something together.
It is not that you don’t have responsibilities when you are single. Everyone has got their share of responsibilities. Marriage only adds up to all that you have. As a woman, you have to support the family emotionally and physically. As a man, you ought to provide for the family financially. If both are working, there are other responsibilities. When kids come along, the obligations increase. Both of you need to be emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically fit to make wise and right decisions for your family.
8 Health and Fitness
Your way of eating and living will change. There will be a shift in your lifestyle. You may see a change in your level of physical activity, eating habits, sexual routines, alcohol consumption, daily schedule, etc. It can alter your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health. Your lifestyle will make a difference. In fact, you will be a model for your next generation too. Though it can change, let it be for the benefit of all of you. Your health is not a concern for you and your mom alone, it is your spouse’s too. You need to take care of it.
9 Sexual Activities
As the years pass by, the level of sexual intimacy can change. It can become boring sometimes. But, if your relationship is good, you can find it interesting and passionate.
Whatever changes you go through if they are helping your relationship and making your love for each other grow, keep it going. If not, get help and connect back to your spouse. Let the changes never come between your loves, commitment, and trust that you have built over the years.