The Law of Acceptance
By: Christine Sherborne
“Lord! Give me strength to change the things I can change, give me courage to accept the things I cannot change, and grant me wisdom to know the difference!”
This law is similar to one of Non-attachment. When you accept people as they are without trying to change them, it brings peace and harmony into the relationship. It is amazing how many people marry the person of their dreams, and then immediately set about changing some aspect of their personality or actions. How quickly it is forgotten that a particular quirk, which now irritates, attracted you to them in the first place. Any person is a complete package, and changing or attempting to change one aspect of them can change them completely, wiping out the good things with the bad.
Acceptance makes sense because you cannot change other people, you can only change your attitude to them, and that may or may not cause some change in them. Practicing acceptance in love towards your spouse, children and others, will move you forward and deepen those relationships. This is especially true in relationships with your children. The greatest gift you can give to your child is to accept them exactly as they are and love them unconditionally.
The law of acceptance should also be practiced in situations that you may find yourself in. For example, your partner may develop an illness that obviously is out of your or their control. It is pointless to rail against this or let it develop a chasm between you, and acceptance with love will enable you to find answers and coping strategies. Non-acceptance puts you in the victim role and hinders you from thinking straight and making good decisions.
This law applies in many areas. It may be that you find it hard to accept your financial situation, your in-laws, your partner’s past, or changes in your partner or children. In every situation I urge you not to hit your head against a brick wall by trying to change circumstances without first accepting the reality. Start by acceptance and the remedy will follow.
Accept and be Content
“To be content with what we possess is the greatest of all riches”
“Content makes poor men rich; Discontent makes rich men poor”
Contentment in relationships follows practicing acceptance. When you accept situations as they are rather than as you would like them to be, you can work on that situation to enable you to be content in it.
In your marriage or partnership, aim for contentment, regardless of external circumstances. Make a commitment to each other that you will support each other and both endeavor to be content in all circumstances. If you have each other, can rely on each other, feel secure in each other’s commitment, then even in the worst situations, it is possible to be content and feel that you can overcome any adversity.
We hear Doctor Phil McGraw often say “You have to accept reality before you can change it.”