Make Your Marriage Better: simple tips for a successful marriage
By: Danielle Wells
There are a few things that I’ve learned in my few years of marriage to make marriage better! I’ve been married a short time in comparison with some, but I am so thankful for the lessons the Lord has taught me along the way. I would like to share with you some things that when put into practice are so helpful in a marriage relationship! This is by no means a comprehensive list; these are some practices that come from the heart. Please leave a comment or two with your tips to make marriage better!
- Communicate with each other.
Many of the arguments and squabbles I have with my husband come from a lack of communication. Somewhere along the way, unsaid expectations were assumed and either acted or not acted upon. New situations pose this threat as you head into new territory with each other. Christmas gatherings, holiday parties, hospitalization, buying a home: these are all new experiences that will have to be talked through. Even the most minute of situations should be discussed because the expectations that you have for each other are already in your mind ready to be acted upon.
- Read good marriage books.
Many problems can be avoided by preventative measures. One of those measures is reading good marriage books. Advice is often given in marriage books about situations and thought processes that will arise. If you can already have good advice in your arsenal of thought, you will be more prepared when problems come up. Here is my list of good marriage books!
- Speak highly of each other.
Your spouse should be number one in your life. You were married to that person because you thought so highly of him and loved him! Continue to act as if he is your prince. Continue to show him that you respect and love him! By speaking highly of him, you will instill in him the pride and respect that he needs. He will know that he can trust you when you speak highly of him when he isn’t present. And besides, all of that, it’s just a nice thing to do!
- Be trustworthy.
This character trait is something that you should guard closely. Don’t do or say anything that will negate trustworthiness in your marriage. Be honest even if it means condemning yourself. Don’t allow “white lies” to slip. Don’t be deceitful in any area of your marriage.
The Bible has so much to say about the validity and benefits of trustworthiness and the condemnation of deceit. Proverbs 24:28 – Be not a witness against thy neighbor without cause; and deceive [not] with thy lips. Proverbs 12:22 – Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.
Remember that once discovered in a lie, you are not able to undo it. Your spouse will have a difficult time trusting you. Be vigilant in protecting your trustworthiness!
- Put yourself in his/her shoes.
In conflict one or parties feel threatened by something or someone. Each feels that his/her argument is valid. Don’t forget that fact! Try to put yourself in your spouse’s place and truly understand why he is upset. That different angle or point of view is helpful in trying to reconcile and solve the problem.
- Plan time for each other.
Life is busy and unless you plan time for certain things, those things will be ignored. Your marriage relationship is the same. Work, children, housework, family, church and recreation eat up time. All of those are necessary and are usually observed in some way. But don’t forget to plan time for your spouse. Planning time with your spouse doesn’t have to be a huge event. It could be a date a month. It could be dessert and a movie after the kids go to bed. It could be a lunch date. It could be reading the Bible together before bed. Get creative! But do plan some time for each other to make him feel special.
- Learn to say “no.”
Again, life is busy. You must learn to say “no.” Say no to those things that will keep you away from your husband for too long. Say no to those things that don’t allow you to be a good wife or homemaker. For each person, saying no will mean something different. But if you never learn to say no and you are always trying to please everyone, you will be miserable.
- Have a servant’s heart.
My husband suggested that I include this one. Having a servant’s heart toward one another is essential. Being considerate and loving goes a long way. For women having this servant’s heart will mean different acts of service than a man. Some things that come to mind when thinking on this is the following: having dinner ready on time, having the house clean when he gets home, keeping a stash of chocolate for him to nibble on, making sure he’s comfortable while reading, having some sweet tea on hand for him to drink. Having a servant’s heart seems to encompass many area of life: being considerate, being loving, being a planner, being humble, etc. But being a servant to each other is definitely special but sadly infrequent these days.
- Stay close to the Lord.
The closer that my husband and I are individually to the Lord, the closer we are to each other. If my relationship with God is in good standing and I am walking with Him as I should, then my relationship with my husband will fall into place. I am amazed at how true this concept is! And I am thankful for a husband that wants to serve and walk with God as he should.