Ways to Add Romance to Your Relationship
By: Lin Burress
Whether it is married couples, or those in a long-term relationship with a significant other, it should be understood that happy and healthy relationships take a lot of work. The effort involved with deepening the connection between the couple can be enjoyed by both husband and wife developing a close intimate bond unlike any other kind of relationship.
Based on the reaction of visitors and readers of this blog, married couples are looking for ways to improve their marriage and spice things up in the romance department at home. I’ve heard from a number of people that have read and enjoyed my article, keeping the Fire Alive in Your Marriage, and are asking for more tips on adding spark and romance to their marital relationship.
If you are truly committed to making your marriage strong and healthy, with a bit of creativity and effort on the part of both husband and wife, romance can become second nature to you. Begin each day with the question, “What can I do today to show my husband/wife how much I love him/her?”
It seems rather silly to me to have to point out what should be very obvious, but you would be surprised how many people have mentioned basic grooming habits being a problem in their relationship. Brush or comb your hair, brush your teeth, take a bath or shower every day, put on some makeup, get rid of those old nasty sweats and put on an outfit that shows that you care about your appearance. You know that old, worn out “favorite” shirt you’ve been hanging onto for years? Get rid of it! There isn’t much that can diminish the romantic feelings between husband and wife than to see your spouse looking frumpy and disheveled.
Ladies, put your hair up in a nice clip instead of a “scrunchy”, or take the time to curl your hair and make yourself look nice for your husband. Get rid of the granny panties and wear some underwear that is attractive and sexy for your man. Men, your wife is not likely to find you very appealing in those old, tattered sweats that you claim are so “comfortable”. Taking care of yourself and your body, losing those extra twenty pounds (or more) around your mid-section, will not only improve your health but will also increase your energy and sexual appeal.
Begin each day by physically touching your spouse with hugs and kisses. Hold hands while sharing a cup of coffee or tea together; place your hand on your spouse’ leg while sitting together watching the morning news; gently caress your spouse’ face and say “You’re so beautiful, I love you”. Physical touch is very important in creating romantic atmosphere in the home, so when you arrive home from work be sure to hug and kiss your spouse, and continue physically touching each other throughout the evening.
A common problem in many marriages is where there is virtually no physical touch throughout the day and evening, but as soon as the kids are put to bed and the couple retires to the bedroom, there is an expectation that hot, sizzling sex is going to miraculously heat up the bedroom. Not!
Frequently offer foot massages, shoulder massages and full-body massages to your spouse. Purchase scented oils or lotions to make the massages not only soothing and relaxing, but to also turn up the sexual heat in the bedroom. Throw out the flannel gowns and wear a sexy, silky negligee that will make your husband want to touch you. Guys, those old boxers with the little holes in the seat aren’t working, so trade them in for something a bit more sexy for your wife to want to touch you.
Pay close attention to subtle hints and comments about something your husband or wife wants to buy for themselves, and purchase it for them as a surprise. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, but if your wife sees a purse she likes or a set of earrings she wants, make note of it and stop by the store and pick it up for her. If your husband mentions wanting a new tool for his toolbox, or mentions wanting a new gadget of some kind, take the time to go buy it for him as a “just because” gift. Pay close attention to clues for birthday, holiday or anniversary gift ideas, making a point to write them down so you won’t forget and end up struggling to find a gift your spouse really wants.
Has your partner mentioned a concert or sporting event they have interest in attending? Buy some tickets and go as a couple. Does your spouse enjoy craft shows, museums, art festivals or amusement parks? What are you waiting for?, buy some tickets and go! Do you often hear your partner singing or whistling a tune on the radio that they like? Find out who the artist is and buy the CD that includes the song.
Make time during the day to call or text message your husband or wife to let them know you are thinking about them. Don’t use that time to complain about the kids, or the in-laws, or bills piling up. Text message your husband or wife with a little naughty message in the middle of the day, with a teaser of what you have planned for the two of you once the kids are asleep in bed. Brag to your friends, family and co-workers about how lucky you are to have found such a wonderful, loving and supportive husband or wife. Talking in front of your spouse about your partner’s good qualities is romantic; notice the way your partner’s face lights up when you speak well of them to others.
Couples often complain that they don’t have much time to really communicate with each other, not with taking care of the kids, holding down one or more jobs, doing household chores and paying bills. If your children don’t have a normal bedtime routine, make one. Putting the kids to bed at a reasonable hour gives parents time to unwind from their day at work or other family responsibilities, allowing couples the needed time to focus attention on each other and the marriage.
Make the home atmosphere as peaceful and romantic as possible. Turn off the TV. Make the dinnertime meal with the family a peaceful and calm one, rather than using that time to complain and gripe about how the kids upset you, or how the “honey-do list” is still untouched. Keep a ready supply of scented candles to make the home smell nice, turn on some soft romantic music and dim the lights.
Keep the home clean, toys picked up and put away, so your husband/wife doesn’t come home and wonder what you’ve been doing all day. You may have spent the entire day scrubbing floors and toilets, but none of that is likely to be noticed if your spouse is tripping over a trail of toys the moment he/she walks in the door.
Sex, Sex, Sex!
Make sex and romance fun in your marriage. Christian couples want and need sex in their marriage too, and by the way…, Adam and Eve had SEX, and SEX for married couples is talked about in the Bible too!
Have a playful pillow fight, chase each other around the bedroom (if there’s enough room). Take a romantic bubble bath together, with wine and chocolate-covered strawberries.
What are some fun and romantic ideas that you and your significant other have enjoyed in your relationship or marriage? What are some things you feel you need improvement on in regards to spicing up your marriage? Share your stories or tips by leaving a comment below.