Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know
1) NEVER STOP LOVING. Never stop dating each other. Never take each other for granted. When you said “I do”, you promised to be the one that would cherish their heart and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and treasured gift that will ever be entrusted to you. Your mate has chosen you. Never forget that, and never give up on your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of their heart, you must guard your own heart with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your mate. Keep that space always ready to receive them and invite them in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. Pray that God protects both your hearts and continues to draw you closer together.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other every day. Always fight to win their love just as you did when you were courting.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in them. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what irritates you, all you will see is reasons to be irritated. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest person on the planet to be have them as your mate. (1 Corinthians 13)
5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX THEM… your job is to love them as they are with no expectation of them ever changing. When they change, love what they become, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your mate’s job to make you happy, and they can’t make you sad. Turn to God for un-ending source of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. You are responsible for finding your happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7) NEVER BLAME your mate when you get frustrated or angry at them. These are your emotions, and it is your responsibility to exercise self-control. You were attracted to this person because they are the person best suited for you. They will trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so, together, you could deal them.
8) DON’T THEY GET UPSET when your mate is upset. Stand strong and let them know you are not going anywhere. Listen to what they are saying behind the words and emotion. Work together as a team. Ask God for help … ‘a strand of three is not easily broken’.
9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh, and help them laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10) FILL THEIR SOUL DAILY… learn their love language and do things that will make them feel important, validated and cherished. Ask them to create a list of things that make them feel loved and memorize those things. Make it a priority everyday to make them feel loved.
11) BE PRESENT. Give them not only your time, but your focus, and your attention. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with them you are fully with them. Treat them as you would your most valuable treasure, because they are.
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE CARE OF THEM SEXUALLY, letting them know that you are committed to loving them. Become intimate with each other to the deepest level. Strive for oneness and softness so they can know, and trust you fully.
15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t need to have it all together all the time. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and be quick to acknowledge your mistakes, and quick to say “I am Sorry”.
16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share everything. Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to transparent, to fully open your heart and let each other in. Part of that courage is allowing them to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. You will never experience the full dimension of what love can be without being transparent.
17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHE. The stagnant pond breeds malaria, but a running brook is fresh and cool. Work daily on building, and strengthen your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18) WORK ON A BUDGET. Money is a necessary, find ways to work together as a team on the budget. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Forgiveness is freeing. It is equally important to ask to be forgiven as it to give forgiveness to your mate.
20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the most important thing. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices are governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure. (1 Corinthians 13)
Marriage was never designed for ‘happily ever after’. It’s about working together, and a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually investing to creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and loving each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons most couples learned the hard way.
These are lessons we must learn to carry us forward. Be committed to your marriage relationship. Be committed to your marriage, and over time, be committed to building a relationship with a foundation that will endure any storm and any of time.
Commit to being the best mate you can be. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize.
Be the type of spouse your mate can’t help but brag about.